Oh Beloved.

I pray you chose to live

it is easy to succumb

it is easy to lose our way.

I pray you recall

the beauty of this world

and forgive its pain

hold on just another moment

there is so much sage within

to weather this storm

and continue to live.

Practicable.

Partial: Like the shade of a great rock in a Weary Land. Graphic and shellac on paper, 2022. Artist David James.

To stand in the Sun,

take the brunt of the heat.

The scorching.

The pain.

It is an impossible task.

Nourish the parched.

Feed the blackened soul.

Impossible.

Impossibly beautiful.

Impossibly divine.

Words Errant Saiety

Image: David James.

Ear parcel: Olfur Arnards – sunrise sessions II with Josin.

Worship.

David James, Nelson Aotearoa

Who I am.

I don’t belong here,

Yet I do.

No one welcomed me.

I was alone.

The good Lord didn’t fix that.

Yet it did.

To give myself over.

To surrender.

To breathe.

What is it to know god?

Intentionally.

What is it to know the unknowable?

As a pagan, I can feel the Christian ideal.

A thunderous god full of cleansing.

A forgiving Odin, lol.

We all know that doesn’t exist.

I could almost embrace a Judaic God

Yet, he would never accept my uncleanliness.

I can remake myself in the eyes of the Christian God.

I can do anything and win favour by being loyal.

That does not encourage self-development.

If I have to vanquish my enemies

I will be alive.

I can still love and forgive,

I will never cease growing.

My enemies are within.

I will devour them.

God.

Words: Errant Satiety

Image David James

Ear parcel : Aikyo

I am not a Time Lord

Boxes of memories

Unpacked chaotically

Peeling open wounds

Long since scarred

Headlong thrown

Through ages of the self

So many versions of me

Through time.

Discombobulated.

Disconcerted.

Yet not dissonant

Harmonic unification

Of the selves

That become me.

Words by Errant Satiety.

Image ‘Dust to Dust’ courtesy of Pathogens on DeviantART

Ear parcel

The child’s mind; some thoughts on the past

Pertinent today as always!

Errant Satiety

Childhood_Reflection_by_pinkparis1233

My mind to mind, heart to heart, soul to soul conversation with my brother last night brought my firm beliefs about childhood experiences and the past into clear focus. A good friend of mine, who has been a counsellor for many years, often states ‘children are great recorders of information but not good interpreters’. I agree with this wholeheartedly (although, I will note that there are exceptional children that do seem to be great interpreters). While I do not believe in excessive reminiscing of past experiences, particularly in the form of rehashing the past over and over and awakening all the emotion that was felt at that time, I do believe that sometimes we need to assist our ‘childish’ memories to be rewritten with our adult consciousness.

I see life as being like a great tree:

  • The roots being our core beliefs and where we come from
  • The trunk being…

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Authenticity

Being authentic has become a bit of a ‘thing’, like mindfulness and wellbeing, yet it is the most incredible state of being, that invites participation, integrity, and transparency. To me, it is the only way of being, when I sense myself, my loved ones or anyone else being anything less than authentic it invites me to be more present with them to investigate why.

Dissonance dishonours me. Don’t give me any kind of half-truth, I can sense it, and it horrifies me. Don’t be dishonest with me, tell me what is really going on, given everything we are meant to be to each other it is nothing to be honest with me, it will likely save us hours or days of discomfort until you get brave enough to admit the truth. If only you believed me when I said I want you to be honest with me and honoured me by listening when I was being honest with you. There is no need to fear me, you are my chosen beloved, if you will allow me to be yours.

Words by Errant Satiety

Image courtesy of mabuli on DeviantArt

All

There was a time that I would have danced naked in the rain, walked across broken glass, hurt you, raged at you, to get your attention. Now I have it and we have danced a while; I am no longer sure how to reassure you that you are all I need. Adoring you, living our daily life may not be enough. We are mature in our love; we have both grown and changed because of our love. We are better, yet we are still scared of each other. If only I could sing to you as a violin does, express my love in a voice you could interpret… which voice would I chose to sing my love to you? Should I speak of the heartbreak of potential loss, the depth of my desire, my inability to meet your needs, my adoration of all you do, my exasperation at all you do not, my empathy for what you have been through, our intense individuality, your passion for everything you put your mind to, your annoying traits, your brilliance, your stubbornness? Everything that you are, I love in entirety.

You are all I desire, all I need.

You are the light to my shadow as I am the light to yours.

Word by Errant Satiety

Image ‘Stands Alone’ courtesy of Kevron2001 on Deviant Art

Ear Parcel: Jeff Buckley, Hallelujah

Renew

Were I to write again, would I have a voice, a valid perspective to express?

I delve deeply into the understanding of being

Every encounter is of importance to me

Every being I encounter is important to me

I hunger to understand

Hunger to know myself

I seek to know others

That I may know myself

That I may understand humanity.

Last night nature raged, a deluge of hours, hail, lightning, thunder

It was invigorating, normality ceased, attention directed toward natures expression

As the rain lashed and blue light slashed the sky continuously

All I felt was grateful to be alive to witness the glory

Grateful to love and be loved.

Words by Errant Satiety

Image from Nelson 360 degrees (photo from the actual storm I am referring to)

Ear parcel: Nina Simone “Isn’t it a Pity”