Admission – September 5 2013

When I start to think about the complexities of the human body I feel overwhelmed by the strange qualities of the organic structure we each exist within. I have always felt alienated by my body. It feels as though I am living in an ill fitting skin. Yet, by nature, I am a very kinesthetic person. I love to dance. I love sex. Perhaps I have sought to understand my physical form by dancing in it, moving in it, discovering the pleasure that can be wrought from it. I suppose it is little wonder that I have always had an intense desire for someone to dominate my physical form. Perhaps to provide some boundary and organization to the discovery of the skin I am in. Sometimes the need is so strong I can no longer bare it. I cannot breathe. I am struck mute with anxiety and desire. I need to submit my very being. But only to a deserving dominant. And I am still afraid to let go, to give into this desire. It is so deep I feel my entire geography might be lost. Yet I want it. It feels right. Yet what is ‘it’? How do I articulate this to my partner who occasionally likes to be mildly dominant. I wonder does he want more? I want to be left tied up blindfolded on my knees to contemplate what he might do to me on his return. Will he punish me for getting wet and horny while I wait, give me his hard cock to suck or fuck me senseless? God how I want it. I want this control over myself. I want to gift my submission to him. I believe that is why I have been drawn to tango. A good follow submits to the lead yet is a strong person with personality, grace, sensuousness and physicality. A submissive is not weak minded or unintelligent, they simply have a different need, a different almost insatiable hunger. I feel I simply need Domination just as I need to breathe.

2 comments on “Admission – September 5 2013

  1. mrmodigliani says:

    Let me know when he’s away from the house

  2. Incorrigible Mr. M! 🙂

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