Have you ever had a near death experience, or something similarly intense, where you have had only the power of your mind to survive? I have been near death far too many times in my life (I think I have more than one angel, or devil, ensuring I stick around) but by far the most poignant occurred some years ago.
My son was nearly 2 years old at the time and we lived in a very remote area. My vehicle was at the mechanics getting some serious repairs so we were alone, in the wilderness (so to speak) without transport. I have always been allergic to bees but didn’t realise that this kind of allergy is accumulative. My son and I had just had bath time and were about to settle in for some stories, my son was playing in his room while I went to Dress. A bee was in my clothing. I had no medication in the house and had never reacted the way I did this time. My glands swelled very fast and my throat started to close. Before I lost the ability to speak I phoned (thank goodness I decided I needed a landline in this wilderness – I had no internet or mobile phone coverage) the local doctor, his wife informed me that he was attending a heart attack and would get to me when he could. There was no point calling an ambulance it would have taken over an hour to get to me and the Doctor was sure he or his wife could reach me within 20 minutes.
I lay on the floor and focussed on the simple task of breathing and keeping enough airway open to allow me to survive. I imagined my organs not needing so much oxygen to function and simply slowed everything down. I refused to allow the poison in my system, or my immune systems reaction to the poison, to kill me. Of course I don’t know how I will die but I decided a bee sting was not the end I was going to have. My son continued to happily play in his room, which was amazing as he normally would have been tired and cranky at this time of the day. Eventually the doctor arrived and was able medicate me. I now carry an adrenaline shot everywhere and have had to use it twice since then but I have never forgotten those twilight minutes hovering on deaths door and refusing to enter.