You

El Sur

You have pierced my soul. Forever there will be an imprint of you within me. Sometimes I think you may eventually become a shadow with softened edges that might fade from my thoughts and memory but when I am honest with myself I know the truth; I will always hunger for you, I will always regret my choices. Foolish choices I had my chance and I, regardless of rational reasoning, I still walked away. I have to live with that and will always wish for a different ending. That we could rewrite our lives…

words and image by errant satiety (image potentially not understood without context, let me know if you would like explanation errantsatiety@outlook.com)

Musical offering Peter Gabriel a powerful song and video in my youth

7 comments on “You

  1. Desiree G says:

    This was hard to read as I had someone choose to walk out of my life this week that claimed I was part of his soul but he couldn’t bear to have me there any longer. Right now, the pain makes me breathless. And I wish I could understand his decision, because I know it wasn’t done without consequence for him just as you are hurting because of your decision. I would love to know the connection between the picture and your words. Perhaps it will put me on a path toward healing. Much love to you!!!!!

    • Sorry Desiree, I had to sleep. I am sorry for your pain. Big hugs to you. ‘El Sur’ is the South. It is like a long for home, or wanting to return to you your youth. I am not sure that this will bring healing… much love to you gorgeous lady x

    • Desiree, a more considered reply… El Sur means ‘the south’ and is the title of the celebrated Argentine poet and writer Jorge Luis Borges semi-autobiographic novel. Borges himself considered this to be his finest work. El Sur represents the culture of Argentina, the culture created in this land carved out by the pioneers who braved its shores. It represents the ideal of Argentina. Each Argentine you ask will give you a slightly differing definition. What I know, and is pertinent to this image is that El Sur is viewed as home. It is seen as pure, seperado from the impurity of life coloured by external influence. This image was taken in Uruguay, In Sacremento del Colonia which was once a part of Argentina. This beautiful town where all is historic but touristic therefore meticulously maintained there is this site where a building/ruin is apparently under ‘remodeling’ and the locals have put their own flavour on this as the dream of ‘El Sur’ or home which deeply struck me. Most of Argentina and Uruguay is dilapidated, frozen in the 1920’s-1940’s when they were at the peak of prosperity. Argentineans talk about El Sur like a lost lover who would return and restore beauty and prosperity, or memories from childhood when all was better and brighter. El Sur is the hopes and dreams of a collective people but also the individuals within it. A culture that was formed from a cross pollination of many cultures, the natives (they get the brunt of the sharp stick like nearly everywhere), Spanish, Italian, German, African yet has it’s own; like so many countries born of immigrants that seek a sense of place and fight the disillusionment of homogenization. I relate to this deeply. Argentina felt like home to me. My lost lover did too. I broke it, left it in ruin. I did that and the reason why was held in my post https://errantsatiety.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/non-je-ne-regrette-rien/

  2. Michael says:

    Must have been a really painful decision….would be interesting to know more about this lost love and what was happening. I don’t get the sense that this type of writing appeals to you so I will leave it to my imagination. I’m sure you did what you felt you had to do at the time, and I’m sorry that looking back on it suggests a different path. P.S. Peter Gabriel is an amazing lyricist. I don’t think the world was ready for him when he fronted Genesis.

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