Softly spoken anger

speak_softly_love_by_prometheus1706-d649k54

I am, by nature, a gentle and kind person. I give too much and often find it hard to say ‘no’. I am not a push-over by any means, I am strong and some men (I am speaking in platonic terms here) find me intimidating when I speak my mind. But there is anger within me. Sometimes I express this anger and I usually do not do it well. It is my learning curve. Yesterday I responded to a security complaint in my workplace, I went toward it confident and calm. I met the complainant, heard their concerns and approached the party allegedly at fault, I approached in a relax manner and as I went to introduce myself I was met with a verbal barrage of unsavoury insulting language. It was like being punched in the stomach by a stranger on the street. Luckily support was immediately at hand and I was saved further confrontation. I know the vitriolic anger was not intended for me yet it still created fear and hurt. This situation helps serve as a reminder that it probably feels somewhat similar when I express my anger inappropriately, thus, this experience fuels my intention of learning to express myself with control, that I can be heard without verbally assaulting the one I wish to hear me. That I can softly speak my anger without creating fear or anxiety, only open lines of genuine communication.

errant

Image courtesy of Prometheus1706

A world of ash

The way he used to speak to me left ashes in my mouth as if the very air I breathed was scorched by the putrid flames of his chaos and anger. He was a manipulative gardener planting seeds of doubt, confusion, fear, pain and self hatred within me. I have fastidiously pulled these harmful weeds from my heart and mind. I swore to myself I would never live that way ever again, but this morning I woke with the taste of ashes in my mouth.