A world of ash

The way he used to speak to me left ashes in my mouth as if the very air I breathed was scorched by the putrid flames of his chaos and anger. He was a manipulative gardener planting seeds of doubt, confusion, fear, pain and self hatred within me. I have fastidiously pulled these harmful weeds from my heart and mind. I swore to myself I would never live that way ever again, but this morning I woke with the taste of ashes in my mouth.

Deluge

Deluge

Drowning, saturated in grief, in beauty. Paradoxes suffocate me. Which is the path of the righteous? (Decide errant, decide and walk head held high.) Decadent as I am I suffer. I weep; I flail against the immoral against the indignant, the dishonest. I ache only for truth, depth of honesty a heart full of justice. Yet as human I choose. Yet as sentient being we exist within the subjective. What is truth if each will forever see, hear, feel, know within ones self only? If God is truth then God’s ultimate weakness was the gift of freewill to his ultimate diabolical creation. I deeply despise causing harm. Yet daily it occurs beneath my accidental touch and within me inconsequentially. Humans, so deep, so empowered with higher faculty yet we are fragile, emotionally wrought and selfish, or selfless, creatures still ruled by base desires. I ache, I ache most for a sweet mind to share the self in trust, nil deception, my face can tell no lie, my heart or body none either. That any hurt be suffered by my hand… death to part of my soul. Take my beauty, feed from my love, take my soft speech close to breast, suffer no more for there is no need… empathy our only gateway into one another, beyond the subjective. Nurture this organ of communication beyond all others that we can reach within another to understand, comfort, inspire, love and find nourishment and perhaps even contentment.

Words & Image by Errant Satiety
Musical offering with lyrics