My cup is drained. Sleep has embraced me already. Yet my thoughts ramble among the sun kissed trees, half dressed in amber layers, caressed by gentle breeze, their limbs give up their remaining garments to dance before carpeting the earth in rich litter. Lids close my view to conscious life, the leaves dance playing beneath them. A calming lull to dream.
Mementos tucked safe within the locket of my mind. Words whispered, voice hushed and raw with emotion. Hearts thunder when reciprocated love revealed. A shooting star that blazed in earnest while in silent embrace we watched enthralled. Scent from the base of your earlobe. A pressed flower from the field of our love. The sound of your approach. Tears shed in shared grief. The hum of satiated carnal delight. Sensations and images varied, sharing only the thread of our narrative, one I pray will never end.
I thought to weave myself a cape of memory tonight. Feather-light but warm with the nourishment of emotional enchantment. A playlist of mementos plucked from diverse times. Can scent be woven into texture that the senses would be fulfilled? Can touch be quilted within the tissues of my mind? Can memory be recalled with enough strength to empower me when silence is needed and my heart is worn threadbare? My fingers ache for the stitching that can restore this rend. All out of thread I am weaving a cloak of memories to conceal me as I take leave this place and meander once more.
I am in torment to my own desire. My musty scent illustrates my ripe need. Body sensitive to flicker of breeze, friction of clothing. My wicked Imagination has drawn me to a tightly coiled moment where I throb incessant with need. Firm, pliant and moist with heat I cannot sit still. Forcefully I slow my breathing allowing absorption in my daydream, ah yes, there it is the place I imagine him. The rich green forest, sounds of wildlife and the hush of nature after rain seeps into my pores. I breathe it in feeling healing and magic stir in my soul. Opening my eyes I see him, he appears to be arriving as if to meet me. I breathe a prayer of gratitude then focus my full attention on him. Masculine strength emanates from him, tempered with a deep and thoughtful mind; fierce loyalty burns within him wrapped up in a physical package that gives me butterflies. He has seen me, his thoughtful eyes taking in the whole of me, I let my soul shine it is safe here with him, I know it is. His eyes brighten and a playful smile tickles his lips as he moves towards me. He stops a good step away leaving a chaste gap between us, holding my eyes he speaks, “This is some imagination you have,” reaching for my hand he lifts it and gently kisses the back of my hand, “well met, my lady of the woods.” My hand tingles where his lips have scorched their imprint. He does not release my hand but maintains it in his hand gently stroking my palm taking my breath away and stirring more heat within me. “I told you I would wander here from time to time.” He smiles, “Then let us wander and speak of all the things we have been wanting too.” We walk hand in hand comfortable, the lilt of his voice soothing and engaging. I feel closer to home than I have in years, almost longer than I can recall. My desire retreats to a bearable level as we talk and talk. After much time has passed we stop walking he turns me toward him his eyes burn into mine, his hand moves my hair behind my ear, he pulls me to him, I cannot breathe for the passion within me as he lowers his lips to mine. Fire and ice assault my senses I reach for him before I fall. The lush magic of the forest hushes around our searing heat. The kiss of those who remember the time before time silences the world with their reunion. Harmony restored I sadly feel the pull to my own place, my daydream gone I can still taste him on my lips.
Words by errant satiety image from Deviantart taken near Laage Vuursche in the Netherlands.
I carry them within me, beneath my skin. Sensory experience stirs them and they awaken, pulsating thoughts rich with reminder. Eyes closing, breath stirred I tenderly hold the moment awoken beneath fluttering eyelids. Submerged inside, closed from the external I can feel them and clasp them quietly without witness. Can you see their palimpsest upon my skin? Does my history converse upon my body? Momentarily suspended the emphatic now is muted in contrast to then. Unfurling in stillness once again I am whole. They are forever lost to the present yet always carried within.
Slipped beneath the grasp of my thoughts, my reach, and my heart. Gasping for the loss yet he is still here within me as alive and real as ever, yet not tangible, not authentic. Not able to speak outside my memory. There is nothing ‘new’ just repetition of the past, again and again. I ache but he does not feel anymore. I weep but he does not hold anymore. I speak but he does not hear anymore. I desire to share with you one last time. I promised you I would grow wings. I promised many things not knowing how soon you would no longer be here to laugh, to love to dream with me. Where do I find you? What inhospitable holy place can I climb to and find you will answer me? What impossible journey will find me within your embrace again? I know that there is none but one, which I know is not mine yet.