Mystic Jewel

SONY DSC

My words seem so simple, childlike, when I look from the I that is object conscious, bound to the mammalian, not the I that swims in quantum currents of limitless truth, aware of the knowing ripples that ever flow. We do not belong anywhere but within us, yet when we reach beyond to taste of love, real love, whole love, the heavens burst open showering us with truth that we will forget and remember again, returning home to the precious jewel of self a thousand times over. A möbius loop of divine inheritance.

 

Words errant satiety image courtesy of SlevinAaron on deviantART

 

The child’s mind; some thoughts on the past

Childhood_Reflection_by_pinkparis1233

My mind to mind, heart to heart, soul to soul conversation with my brother last night brought my firm beliefs about childhood experiences and the past into clear focus. A good friend of mine, who has been a counsellor for many years, often states ‘children are great recorders of information but not good interpreters’. I agree with this wholeheartedly (although, I will note that there are exceptional children that do seem to be great interpreters). While I do not believe in excessive reminiscing of past experiences, particularly in the form of rehashing the past over and over and awakening all the emotion that was felt at that time, I do believe that sometimes we need to assist our ‘childish’ memories to be rewritten with our adult consciousness.

I see life as being like a great tree:

  • The roots being our core beliefs and where we come from
  • The trunk being our growth, time in the world, memories and experiences
  • The branches and leaves our potential future path

We can rewrite what has been carved into our trunk, redirect the sap of memories that flow within us and, if so desired, change the core beliefs that our life is built upon. The past is not static. With a bit of mindfulness we can change our view of past experiences, even great tracts of time, so that we can respond to our present in a more balanced way and flourish.

Can you call to mind moments or situations in your life where you habitually respond with overly strong emotion, almost like a default setting? Or is there a pattern in your relationships that seems to be stuck on repeat? Have you ever wondered why certain words or phrases set you off and later you wonder why that situation blew out of proportion? It is highly likely that you may have an ingrained response linked to childhood experience/s that haven’t been contextualized into an adult perspective. It’s like a trigger that when pressed by particular pattern or similar situation to the past experience we are suddenly, emotionally, 6 years old again, or 12 or 15. Our adult mind, heart, body and soul is hijacked by this youthful version of ourselves. If we can identify the sensation and catch ourselves behaving in this way we can begin to recognise the pattern and instigate change.

As I mentioned I don’t believe that change requires an in-depth revising of the past (this is almost like rehearsing and reinforcing the behaviour). Just noticing what happens at these times is a powerful catalyst. What thought is prevalent? Is it actually relevant in this situation right now? Why do I think/feel/believe this? Try to catch the moment and slow it down, breathe and look at the thoughts that appear foremost in your mind before you say them out loud. Press pause while you breathe and assess the thoughts and emotions arising. If you can, take time out from the situation, write down what you have observed but keep it simple. When we challenge behaviour, or alter a pattern slightly, different neurons spark in the brain, beginning new pathways within our mind and igniting the process of change.

Sometimes we may have a distinct memory that arises in relation to the patterned response but a specific memory is not essential for this simple process to create successful change. The point is to break an association that is no longer serving us. As children we put in place coping mechanisms to deal with that which we do not, or cannot understand at that time. These mechanisms probably served us well when we developed them but as we outgrow them they begin to hinder us without conscious realisation that a patterned response exists.

Take your inner child’s hand and lead them through these situations with calm, care, love and attention. It takes a little time but it is not painful and leads to deeper understanding of the self, greater compassion and empathy as well as richer relationships. I am not saying banish the inner child, the innocence, imagination and wonder of the child-mind is a blessing. I am merely suggesting that there are parts of our mind that could do with a spring clean and a new perspective to improve our lives.

Change is easier than you believe.

 

Image from pinkparis1233 on deviantART

Paradox

Island of Rona From The Isle of Skye

My soul dove, eyes wide open, fearless from cliff of doubt to find truth had changed between when climb began to the fall. Gravity cannot be defied regardless of fervent wish. I dove embracing spirit of a beloved, with understanding long craved, but fell alone. Nothing has changed but a sweet glimpse of possibility. Courage waxes and wanes, ‘love’ waxes and wanes but the self is, mutable yes, yet constant companion. I can never be alone in my own company. Offering tears to the sweet sunset I reach for the deeper ‘Love’, beloved that will never be lost. Some of us are meant to be alone with our spirit. A lone life of service, of love and beauty…

Today I was given a new artwork. One of my oldest friends made me a street sign, to be exact a ‘hazard’ sign it reads: ‘SURRENDER’. Do they know how true this is? The irony makes me cry and smile at the same time. Had I known before, would I change who I am? Not a chance.

Image by Pascal Bobillon

20140316-114933.jpg

Stormy

Maelstrom

Graceful navigation of the maelstrom of life can leave one worn and in need of deep nourishment. Grace can wane, calm can be disrupted but love can buoy us through the storm. When that love is touched with pain a conundrum arises; if you open your heart there is unbelievable pain but if you close your heart the pain is still unbearable and darkness worries sharp and poisonous talons into your flesh. This is not my way but I was tempted, sorely tempted, this week to deny my love, flee from grace and let my calm be damned. I came back. And when I did the maelstrom settled as I blazed with love.

Love, unthinkable really to turn from such a gift.

words by errant satiety image Patrick Smith

Magnify

When gifted a glimpse into another’s soul hold it as treasure, remember its contours and magnify the beauty you find there. The whispers shared between souls are beyond any language; resplendent sound imbued with the light that forms us. Our cells speak. The knowing, the understanding simple, if heart and mind opens. The whole becomes stronger, more substantial and the ripples of knowing become wave after wave of powerful memory, holding past, present and future. I close my eyes beneath the great ocean of distant suns and open my heart to song. A voice heard but not heard as it cherishes life. The ground shakes beneath me as I worship in an empty temple, for a people long gone, but I know the souls still live I glimpse them now and then and choose to magnify the beauty within.

Luminous

dance_in_the_shutter_IX_by_mehmeturgut

It doesn’t always feel harmonious within me. I gnash my teeth in frustration. Tears form relentlessly at times. Pain sears my soul. Yet always I seek, I reach for the beloved. The real. The truth. That it would be nurtured deep within, through and through all my fibers. That the fruit taste sweet and juicy. That passion would touch my lips and suck my tongue. That my mind would grasp the wispy tendrils of knowing and whisper them through my all. That the notes of my laughter awaken. That the radiance in my eyes speak. That the essence of my dance sing.

When I danced tonight I soared with connection. My skin felt incandescent and sparks flew from my edges. These moments soothe the longing. The longing that grows with every moment that I allow my heart to open, to feel, I sense the loss the separation, the ‘catch 22’, the reality of polarization, of humanity. Love fills the rift, first love of the self then the love of others. Purpose provides comfort even if the truth is not yet fully seen. And when it is revealed, even in the briefest of moments or encounters my smile, my heart, my whole is luminous.

Surrender to life.

Words by errant satiety images from deviantArt

dance_in_the_shutter_XII_by_mehmeturgut

‘Love after Love’

The time will come

When, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

 

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit, Feast on your life.

– Derek Walcott