Where do I place my passion? Where can I open my heart, open my complex wings and let my soul express itself? Who can meet me? I either terrify or enamour those within my presence. My human skill soothes but all else of me terrifies. The dissidence of my existence; I have suffered, found the love of self, my beauty and now I am terrible in my stillness. Some karma it is that follows me. Heavy footprints echo into history beyond tolling to remind that I might be dangerous as I smile with all my compassionate will, and pain rains down. Innocence long left me, I cleave to it, drown me with passion with delight I would never willingly harm anyone… I think of the mouse that my cat brought home last night and was teasing, my heart was breaking so I stole the creature from her grasp, held her gently within my palm spoke softly while her tiny heart found quietude as I soothed her with voice, breath and a single finger stroking her to calm. I released her into the neighbours garden only when I knew she was ready, she was reluctant to leave the comfort of my palm. I have never met a human soul that would do the same for me. Perhaps this is not true, I forget. In the pain I forget. Release me; let me breathe… who finds me? Who knows me? Just when I feel free, truly myself I hit my Wonderwall.
words by errant satiety